i'm missing you..

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim…

Assalamualaikum.. (gaya sopan habis)

        I had a long conversation with one of my friends from TGB. Siapakah orang itu?

Mestilah Miss Menggelabah kite, Syuhada Tamgis. Hehe.. It was a very long conversation. I was very happy to receive her call at 12++ am.

        We talked about our problems, our feelings, and help to give idea to each other to solve the problems. The typical things that people from Venus do when they're facing some problems unlike people from Mars. We kept ranting about our old time.

Our two years at TGB. The transition year. From a teenager to a young adult.

Haish..How I miss them very much.

         Waktu di mana baru nak mengenal dunia sebenar. Dunia orang dewasa (poyo). Tapi betullah, tu lah waktu aku start ter'involve' dengan feeling yg macam2. And it is okay for me to say that was two miserable years of my feelings. The struggle within me. It still happening but insyaAllah with better ways of coping.

        Teringat sorang2 kat ahli kelas 507 or G07. Macam2 perangai ada. Yang manyakitkan hati, yang menggelikan hati, yang takde hati un ade. Eh, ade ke? Hehe..

I know that I'm going to miss those time so much but I just don’t know that I'm going to miss those time this much.

        Alhamdulillah, I meet new friends at new place. Thanks to them I don’t feel lonely. I'm missing them too since I can't meet with them right now. Huhu. Betullah orang kate bile duduk sengsorang ni, tetibe je overwhelming dengan kenangan yang terindah and yg tak berape nak indah.

        Dan tak lupa jugak kpada kawan2 kat MRSMKL. I'm going to keep using MRSMKL since that was the  name of my first official high school although now its name is MRSM Tun Ghazali Syafie(eh betulke aku eja ni?takpelah..taram jer..=p). My teenager life started there (being a leader, a roommate, gaduh2 manja dengan kwan2, jadi orang ketiga[sometimes it can be good and sometimes it just don’t], and the first time I set my eyes on someone[huhu..siapakah??only me and beloved friends know this one]). Everything was in the past.

(insyaAllah.. Korang adalah sebahagian daripada jawapan daripada permintaanku kepada Allah SWT)

     Alhamdulillah, still keep in touch dengan diorang walaupun  kebanyakannya dah lost contact. Tapi kalau nak ikutkan, sebelum ni pun mane ade rapat sangat dengan ramai orang waktu lower form. So, nak kate lost contact ngan ramai orang tu taklah sebenarnye. Alhamdulillah,nasib baik sekarang ade FB, so I try to make contact with them. After all they're still my friends.^^

~Semoga perhubungan ini berkekalan dalam redha ALLAH SWT. (

You guys were my teachers, are my teachers and going to be my teachers forever. InsyaAllah, aamiin..~

Alhamdulillah..

Sekarang dah ada kat bilik. 3 hours after World Religions paper finished.

15 minutes before the exam started I just realized that I neither brought along my matriculation card  nor my ID.

So, I had a short marathon to Office of Academic Affairs. It still in the same block where my exam was going to be held, but I need to go around block B and block C to go there. I barely make it to the exam place before the exam started.

Setelah 2 jam 10 minit menjawab paper WR dengan tak tau la ok ke tak, I had another marathon to bus stop. Again, nasib baik sempat sampai. Alhamdulillah. Naik je atas bas, bas pun memulakan perjalanan. FUH!!

15 minutes later..arrived at KTM. My and Lin un ada ikut sekali. Pastu kitorang split. My dengan Mydin. then kitrg pulak p Seremban nak p beli tiket. Bile dah ada dalam komuter baru perasan fon tiada di sisi. Terpaksa guna hikmat Lin dan kreditnye untuk call my phone. Luckily this one gentleman pick up the phone and Lin asked him to left it at the counter.

Alhamdulillah.. Dapat kembali fon yang aku tertinggalkan.. Ni kali kedua perkara yang hampir sama terjadi. Mulyani cakap, 'ko kena letak stiky notes kat dahi supaya tak lupa'.. Hahahaha.. which I think I should..

Dapat la tazkirah ringakas daripada my beloved Abah..I tried to make the syarahan short and suddenly..my prepaid ran out of credit. Ngeee~~~ antara faktor penyumbang lain yang syarahan tu jadi short.

Dah tak boleh nak kata apa dah pasal kecuaian and kelalaian ku... huhu.. moga Allah sentiasa melindungiku.. Aamiin

world religions...

Bismillahirrahmanirahim..

InsyaAllah harini bermulalah first paper for semester 3 final... oo yea!!

           First paper hari ni ialah World Religions.. huhu.. Terasa cam ape jer duk ulang2 tajuk yg sama for the past few days. Seriously menarik habis subjek dan kelas ni.. yang tak best nye exam dia. Boleh ingat lagi soalan esei untuk midterm yg lepas. Killing habis. Alhamdulillah hidup lagi.. tapi barely safe la.. because somehow it affects my carried mark.. ottokei..!! But then, benda dah jadi.. Life must go on..

            And ape ke jadahnye aku menulis blog di pagi hari ni? Sebabnye aku dah tak larat nak mengadap slides power point tu dah.. First chapter, introduction to World religions. Chapter yg bagi orang senang tapi tak bagi aku sebab kena ingat nama2 orang.. I'm suck at remembering people's name. -.-

Next, Hindhuism. penuh ngan unfamiliar terms and the Gods too. Same goes to Buddhism and Chinese religions. Tergeliat jugak la urat saraf nak bagi ingat all those terms. Moga Allah izinkan aku dan kawan2 boleh retrieve ape yang telah dibaca. Sekarang aku just boleh baca jer. Not more than that. Jammed otak jap.

               Then, masuk part Judaism. Masuk chapter ni aku ok lagi. Yang tak tahan bile masuk Christianity. Otak tak boleh nak analyze properly dah bile masuk chapter tu. 5 chapters earlier make me sick already.

And the last one, Islam. Untuk part Islam ni un memeningkan. Sebab ade contents dia yang  macam disongsangkan. For chapter Islam, we the Muslims students had to present. Seriously, there is a lot of things that we didn't know for sure. What a shame. Sir punyer soalan un mengancam. Untuk exam hari ni pulak aku tak tau sama ade nak jawab ikut kefahaman aku tentang Islam or ikut slide tu sebijik2. Aku takde lah arif mane tapi adelah 2-3 perkara dlm slides tu yg aku rase..hmm.. tak betul. So..amacam?

           Duk mengadap slide sampai 3++ am tadi. So after subuh cadang nak qada tidur. but then mata taknak bekerjasama. Nak dijadikan my lovey duvey friends ask for Islam slide. Dah alang2 kena bukak internet, blogging la saye. It is very rare to see me awake after Subuh. huhu.. Memang kena reject ngan bakal mak mertua camni. Tau tak bagus tidur after subuh, tapi dah jadi habit. InsyaAllah tengah berusaha untuk menjadi yang lebih baik..^^

            So, tomorrow is Chemistry Day. Tak habis cover lagi (ha'ah tak habis cover tapi still duk depan laptop ber'fb' dan ber'youtube' sampai tengah malam..terbaek sgt). Inilah yang dinamakan kesengalan. Wish me luck. Please pray for our success. Aamiin..

No one is helpless..

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Assalamualaikum wbt..

How is my iman? How is my heart? How about me after receiving 'that' news last night?  Am I okay? Or just I pretend to be okay? What I'm sure right now, I don’t know how should I feel after that unwanted news.

             At first, I was really angry, disappointed, and guilty. But, when I calmed down and thought about it, I asked myself ' Why should I feel this way. How could I be this weak when I have Allah to help me. And the thing that happening right now also came from HIM. So I should ask HIM to take it back.'

Only with that kind of thought last night I don’t keep whining to people but only Allah. May I stick with that thought until the day I die.

           Once I heard a tazkirah given by Prof. Dr. Muhaya. She said that when we 'talk' with Allah about our problem instead of the people, we are not going to feel as helpless as we do before. It is because Allah heard HIS servant's du'a and take the hopelessness in him/her as he/she keeps having faith in Allah. Not only that, Allah also give us the way out of the problem. That is why no one is helpless as long as he/she keep having faith in Allah. InsyaAllah.

          Another day, when I was so happy to get my TOEFL score, that was when Allah tested me with success. And right now, Allah is testing me with calamity. However, both the 'nikmat' and 'kesusahan' that Allah has given me is actually a loyalty test. Again, I need to ask myself (as a reminder) ' Am I going to be loyal to Allah as I am when I have problems only and forget HIM as HE already take back my problems?' What an insolent servant I'm going to be if I did that.

 

        Ya Allah, please hold my heart tightly as you won't let it go. ALLAH, you without me is still you, but me without you ALLAH is nothing at all. Don’t let me go astray anymore. However when I am, please take back my hand to the right path. The path that you are please with it. InsyaALLAH, aamiin..

~writing this entry while listening to 'Ujian Hidup- IMAM MUDA 1'. Suit the mood~

'adakah mereka itu akan dibiarkan berkata "sesungguhnya aku beriman" sedangkan mereka belum diuji seperti mereka yang terdahulu'