Incongruence

April 9 (12.28am)

Harini terlintas dlm fikiran(berangan) nnti bila dah habis belajar tak sabar nk kerja kat mana2 company sbb nk cari income so boleh sumbang kat society (anak2 muda yg yatim especially) dgn p mengajar diorang. N p bagi talk kat bnyk tmpat. Bukan harini je tp dah bnyak kali ada thoughts and feeling yg mcm ni..

After that.. I get 2 reminders that make me think really hard (not really)

1. Women need to be educated in ilmu agama islam sbb they are going to educate the ummah by raising their children. They need to have enough/adequate(never going to be enough actually) knowledge of islam so the future generation of this ummah is a generation of knowledge.

2. Belajar bnyak2 ilmu agama utk bntukkn/kukuhkan asas tntg islam apbila masih brgelar plajar. Tiada baiknya tergesa2 utk mngajar ktika masih blajar sbb kita nnti kurg masa utk blajar apa yg ptut kita blajar especially since we are too young. And after grad uni pun still bergelar pelajar slgi ilmu di dada masih x mantap.

Mungkin senang nk relatekn reminder #2 dgn apa yg saya fikirkan. Tp apa kaitan dgn reminder #1 tu? As a muslimah it is my obligation to seek for islamic knowledge as much as i can, read&memorize the quran, read more books, learn more about fiqh n so on. Tapi apa yg saya nk buat apbla dh habis bljar? Mengajar anak2(wlupun bukan anak sndiri) sesegera yg boleh. Ya Allah, what/how will i teach and educate them if i am not a muslimah of knowledge? 

My impian,harapan, and doa supaya i can help to build good characters in them so they can be pembela ummah. But again, how can i do that if i've lack of knowledge and worse im not a person with good characters myself. Deep sigh.

Nor Arifah Abdullah. You have to be more realistic. Make more effort to achieve ur dream of doing dakwah in ways that u want. 

Tumbang hari ni, bangun kembali keesokkan harinya. Tumbang lagi?? Jangan prnah jemu bangun. 

Dear Arifah, leave ur BED, PILLOW & COMFORTER. That is ur first mission. Pray harder.