i'm missing you..

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim…

Assalamualaikum.. (gaya sopan habis)

        I had a long conversation with one of my friends from TGB. Siapakah orang itu?

Mestilah Miss Menggelabah kite, Syuhada Tamgis. Hehe.. It was a very long conversation. I was very happy to receive her call at 12++ am.

        We talked about our problems, our feelings, and help to give idea to each other to solve the problems. The typical things that people from Venus do when they're facing some problems unlike people from Mars. We kept ranting about our old time.

Our two years at TGB. The transition year. From a teenager to a young adult.

Haish..How I miss them very much.

         Waktu di mana baru nak mengenal dunia sebenar. Dunia orang dewasa (poyo). Tapi betullah, tu lah waktu aku start ter'involve' dengan feeling yg macam2. And it is okay for me to say that was two miserable years of my feelings. The struggle within me. It still happening but insyaAllah with better ways of coping.

        Teringat sorang2 kat ahli kelas 507 or G07. Macam2 perangai ada. Yang manyakitkan hati, yang menggelikan hati, yang takde hati un ade. Eh, ade ke? Hehe..

I know that I'm going to miss those time so much but I just don’t know that I'm going to miss those time this much.

        Alhamdulillah, I meet new friends at new place. Thanks to them I don’t feel lonely. I'm missing them too since I can't meet with them right now. Huhu. Betullah orang kate bile duduk sengsorang ni, tetibe je overwhelming dengan kenangan yang terindah and yg tak berape nak indah.

        Dan tak lupa jugak kpada kawan2 kat MRSMKL. I'm going to keep using MRSMKL since that was the  name of my first official high school although now its name is MRSM Tun Ghazali Syafie(eh betulke aku eja ni?takpelah..taram jer..=p). My teenager life started there (being a leader, a roommate, gaduh2 manja dengan kwan2, jadi orang ketiga[sometimes it can be good and sometimes it just don’t], and the first time I set my eyes on someone[huhu..siapakah??only me and beloved friends know this one]). Everything was in the past.

(insyaAllah.. Korang adalah sebahagian daripada jawapan daripada permintaanku kepada Allah SWT)

     Alhamdulillah, still keep in touch dengan diorang walaupun  kebanyakannya dah lost contact. Tapi kalau nak ikutkan, sebelum ni pun mane ade rapat sangat dengan ramai orang waktu lower form. So, nak kate lost contact ngan ramai orang tu taklah sebenarnye. Alhamdulillah,nasib baik sekarang ade FB, so I try to make contact with them. After all they're still my friends.^^

~Semoga perhubungan ini berkekalan dalam redha ALLAH SWT. (

You guys were my teachers, are my teachers and going to be my teachers forever. InsyaAllah, aamiin..~

Alhamdulillah..

Sekarang dah ada kat bilik. 3 hours after World Religions paper finished.

15 minutes before the exam started I just realized that I neither brought along my matriculation card  nor my ID.

So, I had a short marathon to Office of Academic Affairs. It still in the same block where my exam was going to be held, but I need to go around block B and block C to go there. I barely make it to the exam place before the exam started.

Setelah 2 jam 10 minit menjawab paper WR dengan tak tau la ok ke tak, I had another marathon to bus stop. Again, nasib baik sempat sampai. Alhamdulillah. Naik je atas bas, bas pun memulakan perjalanan. FUH!!

15 minutes later..arrived at KTM. My and Lin un ada ikut sekali. Pastu kitorang split. My dengan Mydin. then kitrg pulak p Seremban nak p beli tiket. Bile dah ada dalam komuter baru perasan fon tiada di sisi. Terpaksa guna hikmat Lin dan kreditnye untuk call my phone. Luckily this one gentleman pick up the phone and Lin asked him to left it at the counter.

Alhamdulillah.. Dapat kembali fon yang aku tertinggalkan.. Ni kali kedua perkara yang hampir sama terjadi. Mulyani cakap, 'ko kena letak stiky notes kat dahi supaya tak lupa'.. Hahahaha.. which I think I should..

Dapat la tazkirah ringakas daripada my beloved Abah..I tried to make the syarahan short and suddenly..my prepaid ran out of credit. Ngeee~~~ antara faktor penyumbang lain yang syarahan tu jadi short.

Dah tak boleh nak kata apa dah pasal kecuaian and kelalaian ku... huhu.. moga Allah sentiasa melindungiku.. Aamiin

world religions...

Bismillahirrahmanirahim..

InsyaAllah harini bermulalah first paper for semester 3 final... oo yea!!

           First paper hari ni ialah World Religions.. huhu.. Terasa cam ape jer duk ulang2 tajuk yg sama for the past few days. Seriously menarik habis subjek dan kelas ni.. yang tak best nye exam dia. Boleh ingat lagi soalan esei untuk midterm yg lepas. Killing habis. Alhamdulillah hidup lagi.. tapi barely safe la.. because somehow it affects my carried mark.. ottokei..!! But then, benda dah jadi.. Life must go on..

            And ape ke jadahnye aku menulis blog di pagi hari ni? Sebabnye aku dah tak larat nak mengadap slides power point tu dah.. First chapter, introduction to World religions. Chapter yg bagi orang senang tapi tak bagi aku sebab kena ingat nama2 orang.. I'm suck at remembering people's name. -.-

Next, Hindhuism. penuh ngan unfamiliar terms and the Gods too. Same goes to Buddhism and Chinese religions. Tergeliat jugak la urat saraf nak bagi ingat all those terms. Moga Allah izinkan aku dan kawan2 boleh retrieve ape yang telah dibaca. Sekarang aku just boleh baca jer. Not more than that. Jammed otak jap.

               Then, masuk part Judaism. Masuk chapter ni aku ok lagi. Yang tak tahan bile masuk Christianity. Otak tak boleh nak analyze properly dah bile masuk chapter tu. 5 chapters earlier make me sick already.

And the last one, Islam. Untuk part Islam ni un memeningkan. Sebab ade contents dia yang  macam disongsangkan. For chapter Islam, we the Muslims students had to present. Seriously, there is a lot of things that we didn't know for sure. What a shame. Sir punyer soalan un mengancam. Untuk exam hari ni pulak aku tak tau sama ade nak jawab ikut kefahaman aku tentang Islam or ikut slide tu sebijik2. Aku takde lah arif mane tapi adelah 2-3 perkara dlm slides tu yg aku rase..hmm.. tak betul. So..amacam?

           Duk mengadap slide sampai 3++ am tadi. So after subuh cadang nak qada tidur. but then mata taknak bekerjasama. Nak dijadikan my lovey duvey friends ask for Islam slide. Dah alang2 kena bukak internet, blogging la saye. It is very rare to see me awake after Subuh. huhu.. Memang kena reject ngan bakal mak mertua camni. Tau tak bagus tidur after subuh, tapi dah jadi habit. InsyaAllah tengah berusaha untuk menjadi yang lebih baik..^^

            So, tomorrow is Chemistry Day. Tak habis cover lagi (ha'ah tak habis cover tapi still duk depan laptop ber'fb' dan ber'youtube' sampai tengah malam..terbaek sgt). Inilah yang dinamakan kesengalan. Wish me luck. Please pray for our success. Aamiin..

No one is helpless..

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Assalamualaikum wbt..

How is my iman? How is my heart? How about me after receiving 'that' news last night?  Am I okay? Or just I pretend to be okay? What I'm sure right now, I don’t know how should I feel after that unwanted news.

             At first, I was really angry, disappointed, and guilty. But, when I calmed down and thought about it, I asked myself ' Why should I feel this way. How could I be this weak when I have Allah to help me. And the thing that happening right now also came from HIM. So I should ask HIM to take it back.'

Only with that kind of thought last night I don’t keep whining to people but only Allah. May I stick with that thought until the day I die.

           Once I heard a tazkirah given by Prof. Dr. Muhaya. She said that when we 'talk' with Allah about our problem instead of the people, we are not going to feel as helpless as we do before. It is because Allah heard HIS servant's du'a and take the hopelessness in him/her as he/she keeps having faith in Allah. Not only that, Allah also give us the way out of the problem. That is why no one is helpless as long as he/she keep having faith in Allah. InsyaAllah.

          Another day, when I was so happy to get my TOEFL score, that was when Allah tested me with success. And right now, Allah is testing me with calamity. However, both the 'nikmat' and 'kesusahan' that Allah has given me is actually a loyalty test. Again, I need to ask myself (as a reminder) ' Am I going to be loyal to Allah as I am when I have problems only and forget HIM as HE already take back my problems?' What an insolent servant I'm going to be if I did that.

 

        Ya Allah, please hold my heart tightly as you won't let it go. ALLAH, you without me is still you, but me without you ALLAH is nothing at all. Don’t let me go astray anymore. However when I am, please take back my hand to the right path. The path that you are please with it. InsyaALLAH, aamiin..

~writing this entry while listening to 'Ujian Hidup- IMAM MUDA 1'. Suit the mood~

'adakah mereka itu akan dibiarkan berkata "sesungguhnya aku beriman" sedangkan mereka belum diuji seperti mereka yang terdahulu'

My nervousness gone within minute..

         Alhamdulillah.. Finally my TOEFL's mark has been know.. Syukur alhamdulillah. Perhaps my score is not that high than some people, but I am extremely happy right now for the mark is higher than what I expected (the one I told people  and lower than what I expected in the heart without telling anyone). However this is far better than enough.

          At first I was very nervous when my beloved room mate told me that the score for TOEFL already out. My heart was like "thump thump" expecting the worst. And within a minute after I signed in to that particular website all my nervousness gone without me knowing where. Again, Alhamdulillah as I obtain score 87/120.

          How much I put my effort for this test cannot be judged from my score as my effort much lower than that. Allah the Most Generous and the Most Compassionate has given the opportunity for me to obtain such a mark. It is true when we say that what we get all this time is not for our effort but it is because of HIS kindness and generosity towards HIS servants. That is why we can't be arrogant with intelligence, wealth, and any possessions that we have right now or in the future.

          This might be a test for me. The loyalty test. Am I going to be grateful with what I get? Am I going to keep praying and stay close to HIM like I did before the test till yesterday? Only I can answer the questions. May I answer it correctly. InsyaAllah. ^^

Test	Test Date	Reading	Listening	Speaking	Writing	Total
TELXML	Sun Nov 18 08:59:38 EST 2012	22	23	20	22	87

(my full score ..alhamdulillah^^)

~ today fell asleep in Chemistry class for the entire time..haila~

GOOD??

I just finished reading 'Versus- Hlovate' this evening. One of my favorite novels. And Hlovate is my favorite novelist. His/her touch is just so different from other novelist.

Every time I come home, I  will read this novel (if I have any free time).

This novel gives so many lessons about life. It just meaningful in its own way. It talks about the versus within ourselves. The versus between the good and devil. A story about people who want to change for good. And the changes they made come with sacrifices. It just not easy as what people thought. If it is that easy, there must be a lot of good people outside there.

And I would like to share the definition of 'good' from what I read from the novel. The  definition of good is always define according to the culture we are in. in Malaysia, people always define 'good Islam girl' as a girl who wear long sleeve t-shirt, loose trousers, wear hijab (which cover their chests), and wear socks. And I agree to the fact some Malaysians define good in that way.

However, is it enough to consider someone is good just by doing that? As for me, I will say no. People always ask how to be good. But before that, they should define what  is 'good'. The term 'good' itself differs from one person to another. A muslim want to be good. Same goes to the Buddhist, Christian, Jews, and also the Atheist. All people want to be good. But according to whom is the definition of good is right?

 An Atheist would say he/she is good by giving money to needy, being a good citizen, respect the elders and everything that is morally good. Is this kind of good is enough to help us to get into Jannah and avoid from getting into Hell. 'No' will I say.

As for me, I would like to agree with the 'good' definition gives by Hlovate in his/her novel. He/she defines 'good' as someone who live his/her life according to Allah's rules . If he/she did it then him/her is considered good. This is only my opinion and my view. As a muslim, this the best definition that I can agree with.

So, let's think about it 'how do I define  good?'

p/s : I am still in the process to be good. Please pray for me and the rest of the ummah.

Movie TIME!!

         Today, most of my friends went to their high school to get recommendations letter from the teachers. ini untuk universiti application.. aku? bila pulak nak balik? ntah la..apa benda un tak buat lagi.. macam tak nak belajaar je aku ni hah..

        Disebabkan my beloved roomie(ain) un balik maktab kat Kulim, aku un lepak2 kat bilik mastura dari pagi smpai petang.. huhu..kitorang duk layan cerita "aku terima nikahnya".. cerita yang sarat dengan kontroversi kerana aksi2 yang melibatkan skinship yang agak over di permulaan dan di pengakhiran cerita. biarlah watak hero n heroin tu bergaduh sampai sudah, at least takde la diorang nak wat adegan yg sarat dengan kontroversi.. 

       And aku tengok cerita 'oh haram'. hmmm.. ni un lagi satu cerita yang bagi aku menarik, ade pengajaran but at the same time buat aku confius. banyak persoalan yang bermain kat fikiran aku waktu tengok cerita tu..yelah,  apakah perasaannya berlakon sebagai watak yang perwatakkan tidak mengikut syariat islam. dan dalam cerita tu watak tu ditegur kerana perbuatannya tu. tak ke konflik kat situ..? tak rase offense ke diorang tu? bukan cerita ni je, bnyak lagi..

       I know it is for the sake of acting, however  i still find it is improper.. niat tak menghalalkan cara,kan? ntahla.. aku takde kat tempat diorang. so takleh complaint lebih2.. may they get the true understanding of islam.. me too..sebab aku un masih belajar..insyaAllah..amiin..

tapi ape yang aku boleh ambik dari cerita tu adalah

• kite lau nak praktis sesuatu perkara kita kena la btul2faham dan hayati benda tu btul2.. 
• pastu, lau nak tegur tu cara perlulah berkhemah.. jangan disebabkan cara dakwah kita yang tak betul tu orang lain makin jauh dari islam..
• jangan fikir kite ni bagus sangat dalam hal agama, kerana kita bakal ujub dan hilang rase nak memperbaiki diri. 
• dan janganlah jadi seorang gadis yang bercita-cita untuk menggudat iman lelaki. tak sepatutnya seorang wanita mempunyai niat begitu.. walupun untuk main2.. bahaya la cik kak oiii...!!nnti memakan diri..
• berguru dengan orang yang ilmunya diiktiraf.. soal selidik dulu latar belakang institusi tersebut, begitu juga dengan guru2nya..

      So far,I never find an islamic movie or drama any better than'Ketika Cinta Bertasbih'.. It just sweet and very meaningful in its own way.. and it did convey the message what is the purpose of marriage and how to find a good spouse.. no need to have any skinship to  make the story seems romantic.. but that is how our people view what is romantic..pray that someday people could change this kind of view and base it on what Islam has said.

p/s: bukan bertujuan nak cakap hal kahwin..just nak share ape yang aku tengok..tu semua hanyalah pndapt semata2..

forgive me if i'm whining, but i really want to do it now!

       

          Memandangkan today is the last day of October, i will spend some time to write an entry. i'm going to do this even though i have a lot of crucial things to do.. Dengan hujan yg mencurah2 since waktu klas chemistry kul 3 tadi up until now.. tpi kejap2 red light la..

•  a social psychology assignment which the due date is this Friday.. *sigh .. don't have any brilliant ideas to do it anyway
• with all the admission requirements yg sgt2 la renyah.. nak recommendation letters bagai dari high school teachers.. *sekolah nak tutup dah kot 9Nov ni..mmg berkejar ngan dateline
• dengan test chemistry lagi *the previous test i did not so good.. study sudah, tapi takde berkat agaknye sbb berchat ngan org yg tak sptutnye.. taknak mention siapakah orang tu.. (note to myself not to do it again next time)
• and not to forget, midterm social psychology... huhu.. even i ni budak yg bakal ambil PSYCHOLOGY as my major for degree n i really like it, but not the EXAM.. NOT A CHANCE!

It really a hectic week even I don’t seem like one in that kind of situation because I am not physically hectic but mentally hectic. Too many things need to be organized. It is a sin to whine. I know that. But I can’t help myself from whining. Istighfar ..istighfar..

And what a clumsy person I am. I could forget to bring my handphone with me when coming back from hometown for Raya Korban. So I need to buy a temporary handphone while waiting for the next holiday. (lagi 2 minggu je.. alhamdulillah). I updated my status about this on fb and guess what?? My friend komen yang aku ni memang la inorganize person. Lau tak duk tercari brang2 tu memang bukan aku la tu. Ntah bile habit ni nak subsided daripada diri aku un aku tak tau la.

And tonight, aku and the geng akan pergi ke rumah hantu kat Student Concourse at INTI International University. Ntah mcm mne la rumah hntu yg students tu buat.. InsyaAllah going to another university next year.. please pray for me..

UNITED STATES, WAIT FOR MY ARRIVAL!!! Oh yeay!! Bakal ku penuhi segala forms and requirements yang kamu minta.. May Allah eases my friends and I in doing these things..

Okay!! Rasenye tu je la yg aku nak mengadu domba. Kawan2 aku dah jenuh dengar aku punyer whining, so blog is the best place to do it after I pour it to my friends. hihi.. 

 And the best way that I could do and should is ISTIKHARAH to get the best option with Allah’s guidance and make a lot of prayers. My sister once said,

 “ doa la selagi boleh. Kan doa tu senjata orang mukmin. Dan segala keputusan tu terletak kat tangan Allah dan bukannya kat tangan manusia. Allah yg bukakkan hati manusia untuk mlakukan sesuatu perkara”.

And I found this verse while reading the Quranic translation yesterday

“ hanya bagi Allah (hak mengabulkan) doa yang benar……..” 13:14..

So, here is my vow to myself.. NO MORE WHINING .. IF YOU REALLY WANT TO DO IT, THEN DO IT WITH ALLAH ONLY!! OK!! GOOD GIRL!!^^

         

Personality!!! (part2)

Imam al-Ghazali berkata: “Keimanan dan kekufuran seseorang tiada terang dan jelas, selain dengan kesaksian lidah. Lidah mempunyai ketaatan yang besar dan mempunyai dosa besar pula. Anggota tubuh yang paling derhaka kepada manusia ialah lidah. Sesungguhnya lidah alat perangkap syaitan yang paling jitu untuk menjerumuskan manusia.” 

“Siapa beriman kepada Allah dan hari akhirat, maka hendaklah ia berkata yang baik atau ia diam.” (Hadis riwayat Imam Bukhari dan Muslim)

Dua perkara di atas merisaukan saya setelah saya buat personality test. Mula2 saya happy la, tapi bila duk fikir balik..'haish, tak boleh jadi macam ni'. kenapa? sebab bnda ni. dan diperakui oleh kawan2 saya n diri saya sendiri.

ESFPs love to talk to people about people. Some of the most colorful storytellers are ESFPs. Their down-to-earth, often homespun wit reflects a mischievous benevolence. Almost every ESFP loves to talk. Some can be identified by the twenty minute conversation required to ask or answer a simple factual question. (Myzatil , Amira , Ain, Mastura mengiakan ~~)

Bukan diorang je boleh analisis this one part of me, orang lain un sama. Obvious sangat. Haish. Seperkara lagi yang diorang selalu kaitkan adalah :

                “ko la, kalau bercakap tu orang lain susah nak faham. Ayat ko guna tu berbunga2. Ko memang la kena cari orang yang gune bahasa sama ngan ko lau tak senang salah faham (which is always happen)”

Nak nafikan tak boleh. Kena admit la. Memang kalau bercakap tak pernah nak straight. Alhamdulillah dapat kawan2 yang sanggup dengar celoteh2 I yang tak henti2 ni even diorang tu dah tak larat sebenarnye. Hihi. Terima kasih korang!! But then, they enjoy je dengar I bercakap. :D (perasan..hihi)

SPs sometimes think and talk in more of a spider-web approach. Several of my ESFP friends jump from thought to thought in mid-sentence, touching here or there in a manner that's almost incoherent to the listener, but will eventually cover the waterfront by skipping on impulse from one piece of information to another. It's really quite fascinating.

However, kes cakap non-stop ni hanya akan berlaku bile dah kenal orang tu rapat. Takdelah nak cakap non-stop dengan stranger. Dengan aquaintance tu mungkin. :p

Berbalik pada 2 perkara di atas tadi.Segala descriptions yang dibuat oleh personality test tu dan diakui oleh kawan2 yang terchenta, sangat menakutkan sebenarnya lepas muhasabah diri. terfikir la, betapa banyak la dosa yang yang dah aku buat melalui percakapan aku je. tu tak termasuk sakitkan hati orang tu tanpa aku sedar. Astagfirullah. Istighfar bila ingat balik.

                   Dalam hadis yang diriwayatkan Tirmidzi dan Ibnu Majah, Abu Hurairah menceritakan apabila Rasulullah SAW ditanya sebab terbesar yang membawa seseorang masuk syurga, Rasulullah menjawab: “Takwa kepada Allah dan akhlak yang baik.” Apabila ditanya pula sebab terbesar yang membawa manusia masuk neraka, maka Rasulullah menjawab, “Dua rongga badan iaitu mulut dan kemaluan.”.

YES,perhaps this is my behavior and my very own personality, but then Ireally wish to change it. like i said in my previous entry, kita kena suitkan hidup kita dengan apa yang ISLAM nak la kan..?or if not, i just need to channel it to the right path. Maksudnya, banyakkan bercakap perkara2 yang berfaedah. Moga Allah permudahkan. InsyaAllah. Aamiin.. ^^

Personality!!! (part1)

I did a personality test two days ago. And to my surprise, it was almost 100% correct. And I pun ceritalah kata my beloved friends. and, belum sempat lagi nak cerita the whole result of that personality test, diorang boleh buat analisis sendiri pasal I. I memeng gelak je dengar. So, first thing first, result tu menyatakan bahawa : (oh, lupe nak beritahu I fall in ESFP category)

"Where's the party?" ESFPs love people, excitement, telling stories and having fun. The spontaneous, impulsive nature of this type is almost always entertaining. And ESFPs love to entertain -- on stage, at work, and/or at home. Social gatherings are an energy boost to these "people" people.(sangat2 la betul. Rase nak jerit je bile baca ni. Even my roomie un setuju.)

Alhamdulillah la. So far, even I like party tak pernah la lagi pergi parti yang bukan2. I only limit it to gathering je lah. Memang nak kena kejar la ngan mak abah kat rumah lau tau I join party ntah ape2. Lau pergi pun, pergi Street Party je la pun kat my university. Tak pun Birthday Party. Kadang2 lau kat gathering un terbabas la jugak duk terjerit2. But then, ambik pengajaran la. Sedar diri sikit.

Mungkin bagi sesetengah teenager muslim yang sangat suka berparti merasakan batas2 yang digariskan dalam islam sebagai gangguan. And they end up partying and ignoring all those limits. However, I have different view on this. For me, those limits stated in Islam are actually a kind of protector for me against  anasir2 jahat yang boleh berlaku ketika berparti. You know, duk tersentuh laki perampuannya (konon2 tersentuh), duk balik lewat malam, solat un boleh terabai.

Oleh kerana itu saya berasa sangat selamat apabila Islam menggariskan batas2 dalam pergaulan lelaki dan perempuan dan menyuruh perempuan2 dan lelaki2 menutup aurat mereka sesempurnanya. Kalau ikut logik la, ada ke perempuan yang duk molek pakai baju t-shirt muslimah, duk pakai tudung baik punye litup nak terkinja2 menari kat parti2? And diorang pun tak terasa nak jerit2 cam orang tak betul kat situ even they are very excited. (kadang2 tu terlepas la jugak, tapi cover la balik..hihihi)

kalau i betul2 nak berparti, i will call all my girls, gather in one room, and start to buat benda gila2 yang kitorang suka buat. menyanyi, menari (kadang2 je la), and yang paling best buat sesi luahan perasaan.^o^

So, as a psychology student, I want to say that everyone has their very own personality and desire. However, each and every one of us needs to obey all the laws stated in ISLAM. Perhaps we feel some of this laws as a nuisance and against our own desire, but believe me, it protects you from danger in this world and more important in hereafter.

Islam tak pernah menghalang pengganutnya dari berhibur, malah hukumnya harus. Namun harus kita ingat, hiburan yang berlebihan boleh bawa kepada HARAM. Kerana itu dalam berhibur pun ada adab2 yang perlu kita patuhi.

Janganlah duk immerse sangat ngan ideology barat yang kita kena FREE dalam setiap aksi kita. HALOOOOO!!! You tak free ok! You don’t own what you own now. It all belongs to ALLAH. So toksah duk cakap yang hang tu ada freedom nak wat ssesuka hati hang. Tak sedar diri betul. Marilah kita sedarkan diri kita dan juga orang2 lain. ^^

*peringatan buat penulis..(ada banyak lagi yg personality test tu nyatakan, tapi so far ni je la yg i nak share <3) 

Luar & Dalam

Saya ada satu beg tangan. Cantik (orang ramai yang cakap camtu). Dan saya pun senyum la. Beli kat Giant. Murah. Dalam orang duk puji2 beg tangan tu cantik, mereka tak pernah tahu pun yang sebenarnya di sebelah dalam beg tangan tu dah terkoyak pun. Bukan sikit. Banyak. Terpaksa gune jarum peniti untuk cover kecatatan beg tu. Jadi orang yang pandang pun still cakap beg tangan tu cantik.

Apabila kejadian ni berlaku, terdetik sesuatu dalam hati saya. Betapa Allah menutup aib saya selama saya hidup kat atas muka bumi ni, banyak sangat dosa saya dah buat, namun Allah tetap bagi peluang kat saya. Allah tak bagi orang lain tahu pasal aib saya kat orang ramai. Sedangkan hanya Allah yang tahu banyaknya kemungkaran yang saya pernah lakukan. THANK YOU ALLAH . PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

Seperkara lagi yang terdetik dalam hati saya pada ketika tu, orang lain tengok kita ni baik dan bagus. Nampak berilmu. Kadang2 orang lihat kita ni perangai tak senonoh, cara cakap pun kasar. Namun diorang tak pernah tahu pun betapa kita mencuba untuk perbaiki diri kita ni sedikit demi sedikit daripada dalam. Boleh dianalogikan macam saya yang berusaha mencari cara la nak cover balik beg saya yang rosak tu.

Dan pagi ni saya terjumpa satu post kat fb yang buatkan saya terasa nak tulis entry ni.

"Kalau nak jadi baik, teruskn.. pedulikan apa orang kata, biar orang tak tahu, tapi Allah tahu, ingat.. hidup bukan untuk orang suka kat kita, tapi untuk dapat redha Allah.. biarkn orang salahkn kita, yang penting kita JANGAN buat salah.. biarkan orang pandang negatif kat kita, kita doakan yang terbaik buat mereka, utamakan pandangan Allah, bukan pandangan manusia.."

Kita baiki our innerself. InshaAllah akan kelihatan di luaran. ^^

Jagalah Hati

Jagalah hati jangan kau kotori

Jagala hati lantera hidup ini

Jagalah hati jangan kau nodai

Jagalah hati cahaya ilahi

Petikan lagu daripada kumpulan nasyid seberang Snada- Jagalah Hati. Lagu favorite kot!! Since primary school. Dah berpa lame tu?? Hmm.. adalah dalam 10 tahun yang lepas. I can vividly remember the moment I sat in front of television and watched the clip video of this song. The song was quite famous at that time. I like this song because of the lyrics and the trademark of this song. (nak tau apakah trademarknya saksikanlah sendiri klip videonya) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kxKHPfpWgU

 Lagu ni bukan sekadar lagu. It really convey the message that we have to take care of our heart. Lagu ni beritahu kenapa kita kena jaga hati kita.

Bila hati kian bersih Pikiranpun akan jernih
Semangat hidup nan gigih Prestasi mudah diraih

Namun bila hati keruh Batin selalu gemuruh Seakan di kejar musuh
Dengan Alloh kian jauh

Apa yang dikatakan adalah benar, tiadalah yang benar melainkan yang benar2 belaka. ^^

Cubalah anda2 dan saya sendiri imbas balik kehidupan kita. Waktu2 hati kita tengah banyak sangat buat dosa (seperti dengki dan benci,), adakah hati kita masih lagi mampu nak beribadah dengan khusyuk?

And when our heart at the best state (rasa tenang, banyak berzikir, tak fikir buruk2 pasal orang), impossible thing can be possible. Believe me. Macam dalam lagu ni ‘Semangat hidup nan gigih Prestasi mudah diraih’.

Nak jaga hati ni bukanlah senang, sebab kalau betullah senang, tidak akan ada la jenayah2 yang berlaku.

Apabila penyakit hati yang tak boleh dilihat ni melanda seseorang, orang itu sendiri akan merasakan simptom2nya. Rasa frust la, cepat nak give up, senang nak naik angin dan macam2 lagilah. Jadi, orang itu sendiri haruslah sedar akan perubahan yang berlaku kepadanya. Apabila dah tersedar yang hati tu bermasalah, antara perkara yang harus anda lakukan :

v  Banyakkan istighfar

v  Tenangkan diri dan muhasabah diri

It happened to me once. At that time I was in form 3. I was quite excellent in my academic. Teachers and friends knew me for that reason. Somehow, in the early form 3, one of my classmates who I proud to mention her name here (Norsakinah binti Ahmad) took over my place. She became very good in her study that teachers praised her and my friends seek her for help.

Without me noticing, I grew the feeling of dislike for her. I was very annoyed with every single thing she did even it was not wrong at all. She is such a nice girl. I don’t have any idea why it is so. Day by day, the feeling overwhelmed me until I was annoyed and hated myself for being so. It was very sickening. I really couldn’t stand it anymore. I used to cry alone when thinking about this matter. How came in this world I hate such a nice person with a good religion background? I felt so bad for myself. It really distracted me.

I pray to Allah to give me the guidance to through all those things. I didn’t want to feel that kind of feeling anymore as I was the only who was being hurt. I had a very tough time to reflect on what have I did that made me became like that. Alhamdulillah, Allah showed me the way out of it. The problem is me, my heart. I neglected for a long time. Yes, at that time I kept doing my prayer and reading the Quran, however I don’t put my heart in doing all those things. Perhaps it was one of the reasons why I became like that.

Allah is Ar-Rahman and Ar-Rahim. At that time, I felt that Allah had answered my prayer. Without me knowing how, I became closer to Sakinah, and we became good friends. Although we seldom contact each other but the ukhwah is still there. Now, she is in Jordan, pursuing her study in medic for 6 years. May Allah eases her way in becoming a good doctor for the ummah.

Right now, every time I face the similar problem, I will sit down, calm myself, reflect on my actions and pray hard to Allah to get rid of the feeling which I believe come from Satan. And this song suits the mood at that time and still is. It reminds me how important for me to take care of my heart from any evil intentions. Let us take care of our heart <3 ^^

p/s : dengarlah the full song of jagalah hati..

Back to Basic

       Setiap perkara kat atas muka bumi ni terhasil daripada perkara2 asas. Untuk benda2 hidup perkara2 asas itu dipanggil sel (aplikasi ilmu biologi) dan bagi benda bukan hidup adalah atom(introduction to chemistry). Dan tanpa benda2 asas ni tak mungkin akan adanya hidupan/objek yang kompleks seperti apa yang kita lihat sekarang. Begitu juga dalam ibadah. Ibadah juga mempunyai perkara asas yang menjadikan ibadah itu hidup. Perkara yang menjadikan ibadah itu hidup adalah NIAT. Tanpa niat yang betul ibadah yang kita lakukan bakal menjadi sia2. Kepentingan niat boleh dilihat apabila ada hadis yang merakamkan kepentingan niat.

Hadith daripada Amirul Mukminin Abu Hafsin 'Umar ibn al-Katthab RA, katanya: aku mendengar Rasulullah SAW bersabda: Sesungguhnya setiap amalan itu bergantung kepada niat (atau hati atau matlamat), dan bahawa sesungguhnya setiap orang ada niat dan matlamatnya. Barangsiapa yang hijrahnya (dengan hati atau matlamat) menuju (mendekatkan diri) kepada Allah dan RasulNya, maka hijrahnya (akan diterima sebagai mendekatkan diri) kepada Allah dan RasulNya. Barangsiapa yang hijrahnya kerana (hati atau matlamat) dunia yang dia mahu mendapatkan habuannya, atau kerana seorang perempuan (dengan hati atau matlamat) mahu dikahwininya, maka hijrahnya (yakni amal perbuatannya akan dihisab dengan hati atau matlamat) yang hendak dicapainya itu.

     Niat memainkan peranan yang sangat penting dalam menjadi garis panduan pada setiap perkara yang ingin kita lakukan. Dan haruslah kita ingat, setiap niat kita dalam beribadah perlulah hanya kerana Allah. Di sini ingin ditekankan bahawa ibadah itu bukan hanya seperti yang termaktub dalam rukun islam iaitu mengucap, solat, puasa, zakat dan menunaikan haji. Perkara2 seharian yang kita lakukan seperti tidur(my favorite activity), makan (teringat pudding roti waktu tgah taip entry ni), belajar (terpandang buku dan kertas2 statistik yang tgah duk ada atas katil sekarang), melancong (travel bersama kawan2) and macam2 lagilah yang kita lakukan boleh jadi ibadah. Dengan cara apa?? Dengan cara meniatkan perkara yang kita lakukan itu adalah kerana Allah semata-mata.

      Macam saya yang tengah menaip entry ni. Apakah niat saya semasa menaip entry ni? Adakah untuk dipuji?? Atau adakah kerana dengan niat semata-mata kerana Allah untuk berkongsi ilmu yang saya dapat ketika usrah tempoh hari??

     Oleh kerana itu, kita haruslah memperbaiki niat kita sentiasa. Hati manusia ni cepat berubah. Ibarat pasir di gurun sahara(gurun sahara ada pasir ke macam gurun kat middle east..huhu.. tak tahu). Kemungkinan lagi cepat berubah daripada tu. Sebelum tu, perkara yang membuatkan perbuatan kita itu satu ibadah atau tidak bukan hanya berdiri dengan niat itu sendiri tapi harus juga mematuhi syariat. 

      Ye lah, kalau tidak jadilah macam Robinhood(versi islam). Niatnya sudah baik, mencuri daripada orang2 kaya untuk diberikan kepasa fakir2 miskin. Namun, caranya sudah bertentangan dengan syariat. Mencuri itu haram tidak kiralah apa jua situasinya. Ingat, NIAT TIDAK PERNAH, DAN TIDAK AKAN PERNAH MENGHALALKAN CARA.

      Satu perkara lagi!! Hati manusia ini sentiasa berbolak-balik, maka sentiasalah berdoa kepada Allah agar ditetepkan hati ini. Kita jangan terlalu yakin bahawa kita akan sentiasa baik sepanjang masa. Jika Allah membalikkan hati manusia, seorang ustaz pun boleh murtad(ekstrem sungguh contoh yang diberi tapi itu tidak mustahil akan berlaku, kan?)

          In conclusion, niat adalah tunjang bagi setiap amal. Dan untuk menjadikan apa yang kita lakukan sebagai ibadah ia haruslah mematuhi 2 ciri ini.

• ·         Niat hanya kerana Allah
• ·         Perkara yang dilakukan haruslah mematuhi kehendak syariat.

Semoga selepas ini saya dan anda2 semua mampu menjaga niat dan hati kita. Seandainya mampu, perbaharuilah niat kita dalam setiap langkah. ^^

Who are YOU?

Who are YOU?

When this question is being asked to people of certain group, they will say..

“I am an engineer. I have built many great buildings in this country”

“I am a scientist. I have discovered a lot of things about this nature. I won a Noble Prize”,

and many kinds of answers which represent their status in society.

However, do they realized (including me and you) where they get all those things from. What I mean here is where did they get the knowledge to do what they are doing?? If they, you, and I say that we use our own brain to think, I want to ask you another question. Who gave you that brain? Above all, who gave you the ability to think? Will you say that no one? Or is it just a normal human nature?? How it is so?

             Even a machine has its own background (where, when, how, and who manufactured it).

If you really a human by nature, you must thought about it before. Even someone who doesn’t believe in God will think about it. What makes the difference is he/she answers the question by using logical thinking and not based on faith and religion.

So, here I just want to say, that none of us should feel proud about ourselves. Yes, we can feel so, but in a humble way. Use what you have to help the community especially your religions, ISLAM. What we have right now is only for a temporary period as well as our body and soul. When the time comes, all of us shall return to Him (ALLAH all The Mighty).

'Have those who disbelieved not considered that the heavens and the earth were a joined entity, and We separated them and made from water every living thing? Then will they not believe?'. Al-Quran 21:30 (Surah Al-Anbiya')

             'The Day when We will fold the heaven like the folding of a [written] sheet for the records. As We began the first creation, We will repeat it. [That is] a promise binding upon Us. Indeed, We will do it'.  A-Quran 21:104 (Surah Al-Anbiya')

            'I did not make them witness to the creation of the heavens and the earth or to the creation of themselves, and I would not have taken the misguiders as assistants.' A-Quran 18:51 (Surah Al-Kahfi)

Bertatih untuk Redha

"Sesungguhnya belajar untuk ikhlas itu adalah matapelajaran yang sangat sukar bagi mereka yang tidak redha. Belajar untuk redha memerlukan seseorang untuk memiliki keimanan(keyakinan) yang tinggi terhadap Allah SWT dan terhadap setiap perancanganNYA. "

"Ya Allah aku sedang belajar untuk itu, maka berikanlah aku jalan dan cara untuk mencapai matlamat itu. semoga aku mampu redha dalam setiap perkara dalam hidupku melainkan redha untuk melihat dan menerima agamaku ISLAM diperolok-olokkan.."

"Aku masih bertatih, maka pimpinlah aku hingga aku mampu berjalan dan berlari dengan sendirinya. Itulah harapan aku. Tunjukkanlah aku jalannya Ya Allah, dan sanggupkanlah aku untuk menghadapinya"

Amiin...